Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear – not absence of fear. – Mark Twain —
Are fears holding you back? How would you live if you had no fear at all? You’d still have your intelligence and common sense to safely navigate around any real dangers, but without feeling the emotion of fear, would you be more willing to take risks, especially when the worst case wouldn’t actually hurt you at all? Would you speak up more often, give your ATTENTION to more strangers? What if you even learned to enjoy the things you currently fear? What kind of difference would that make in your life?
No doubt, there are real dangers in life, we must avoid…but when I talk about ‘Courage’, I’m not referring to the heroic courage required to risk your life to save someone from a burning building. By courage I mean the ability to face down those imaginary fears and reclaim the far more powerful life that you’ve denied yourself. Fear of being alone. Fear of failure. Fear of public speaking. Fear of rejection. Fear of going broke. Fear of physical discomfort. Fear of regret. Fear of success.
In our day-to-day lives, the virtue of courage doesn’t receive much ATTENTION. Courage is a quality reserved for soldiers, firefighters, and activists. Security is what matters most today. Perhaps you were taught to avoid being too bold or too brave. It’s too dangerous. Don’t take unnecessary risks. Don’t draw ATTENTION to yourself in public. Follow family traditions. Don’t talk to strangers. Keep an eye out for suspicious people. Stay safe.
But a side effect of overemphasizing the importance of personal security in your life is that it can cause you to live reactively. Instead of setting your own goals, making plans to achieve them, and going after them with gusto, you play it safe.
What Is Courage?
As suggested by the quote regarding courage above, courage is the ability to give attention and get yourself to take action in spite of fear.
Courageous people are still afraid, but they don’t let the fear paralyze them. People who lack courage will give into fear more often than not, which actually has the long-term effect of strengthening the fear. As older as you get, you begin taking your fears for granted; they become real to you.
But there’s something else going on in your head, right? That tiny voice in the back of your mind recalls that this isn’t the kind of life you wanted to live. It wants more, much more. because you’re afraid. And if you refuse to listen and pay real ATTENTION to it, it will always be there, nagging you about your mediocre results until you die, full of regrets for what might have been.
In the past, I have faced many daring moments where I have chosen to back down and take the easy route. So, what made for me the difference? Based on my successful experience and helping many people worldwide develop their ability to cope with fears, I believe there are a few key factors that will either support or destroy your ability to embrace your daring moment. Here is what helped me;
Itzik Amiel inspiring, motivating and practical talks filmed in September 2013 during the International Referral Annual Conference at the British Academy of Film, Television & Arts (BAFTA) in London.
1. Connect With Your WHY
It is obvious that you want to choose the path that is filled with the most joy. How will you choose between 2 options? Ask yourself why it is that you would take either path. Is it because it is easier, safer, more certain? Or is it because it sets your heart on fire, ignites your passion and calls you to become a bigger and better version of yourself?
Now, try to connect for real with your heart. Try to connect to your feelings when you think of the 2 options. I bet you will understand quite clearly, which is driven by fear and which is driven by love.
If you choose to take the more challenging, yet love-filled path, remain connected to your way through the whole process. Remind yourself why you have made this choice. Anytime fear comes up, once again come back to your why. Think about all the amazing positive aspects of this new path you are taking, and move forward with your beautiful end result in mind.
2. Understand Your Fears
Many years of experience and reading motivational books taught me that fear is actually a sort of self-protection. The fearful voice that many times is in your head, while you need to make a choice is trying to protect you and keep you safe. It wants security, stability, comfort and sameness. It does not want to see you fail, as this will risk the love and acceptance that it thinks you need.
In order to avoid struggling with all these harmful thoughts, just take a step back. If you understand that these thoughts are simply a self-protective mechanism, you do not let them disturb you. You should identify these thoughts and notice them. Then, all you need to do is simply say to yourself “Thank you thoughts, I know you are just trying to protect me, but I am safe and all is well and only good lies before me.” And then, let them go and give yourself the real space to make the right decision.
3. Decide. Commit. Act
Daring moments are lost by deliberation. Many people underestimate the short time in which a decision is being made in a person mind. You need to take a decision, commit yourself to it (since it is your decision!) and then follow through with immediate action. You must follow through with action before you have even a second to stop and think what you are doing. If you procrastinate, wait or decide to think about it for a bit longer, you will lose your moment. When the impulse is there you must jump on it immediately. If you wait, you will simply be giving your mind the perfect opportunity to step in and talk you out of it.
We should emphasize again the urgent need to take an action after decision is being made. Since without proactive action plan, nothing will happen.
Are you scared? Are you freaking out? That is a good sign. It means you DARE! You are taking a leap of faith out of your comfort zone, and into the zone where dreams are created.
4. Be Willing To Not Know
The ability and the willing not to know how things are going develop, once you take a risk in life, forces you to become extremely present and to embrace uncertainty. All you can do is take life one step at a time. Just take the step that lies before you in this very moment, and do not worry about anything else.
Nobody get all the answers all at once. They will be revealed over time. By giving your real ATTENTION to the (unknown) process and trusting it, you actually create a beautiful space for the universe to step in and help you.
5. Support Yourself
Do not forget to give ATTENTION to yourself! It is important to support yourself with positive and empowering thoughts while you are going out of your comfort zone. Take some quiet time and connect with your inner guidance.
Congratulate yourself on having the courage to take these steps, encourage yourself and give yourself positive reinforcement for all the actions you take along the way. Not less important is to believe in yourself at all times. Avoid listening to negative voices that occupy your mind to cut you down or hold you back. Get forward with your actions to fulfill your dreams.
