One of the first books, I have ever read was from Dale Carnegie . Years after, I start giving Carnegie’s books as a gift for birthdays of people that I care about. Nowadays, I find myself reading or quoting every week from Dale Carnegie amazing work. Carnegie literally wrote the book on networking in 1936. How to Win Friends and Influence People demystified the process of making friends out of strangers and rules for meeting new people by using the ATTENTION tools.
I got many requests from my international readers to guide them in a simple way how to give genuine attention to others in order to build a better network (personally and professionally). So I decided to use Dale Carnegie’s basic tools, to describe how to give attention in 5 simple ways (that also work magically for shy people):
1. Smile:
A smile is a ticket for people’s heart. Smile – is a simple attention-giving tool to others. It is a simple, basic behavior, yet people just don’t think about it. People are more likely to warm up to someone with a broad smile on his face than they are to someone with an unhappy face or dour countenance.
Smiles can go a long way. Ron Gutman reviewed studies about smiling and found that a smile can predict how long you will live. British researchers have found that one smile can provide the same level of brain stimulation as up to 2,000 chocolate bars. Smiling is also contagious, especially when you combine it with sincere attention. In Stanley Gordon West’s, Growing an Inch, he famously wrote, “Smile and the world smile with you, cry and you cry alone.”
Did you ever see these people at a conference or networking event walking around with an expression of anger/ scowl on their face? They are so busy with trying to network the room, that actually forgetting the basic rule of attentional networking – Smile.
2. Listen:
One of the most unappreciated Attentional networking skills that you can easily master is the ability to listen. To get people excited about you and your business you need to do more listening and less talking. Good listening is active, not passive.
How many times have you walked away from a conversation with someone and can’t remember a word they’ve said? You were there in body but little more. It is easy to ‘zone out’ and drift into our own thoughts, particularly if you are busy, bored, can’t see the relevance or have made an assumption that there is nothing to gain from the discussion.
In an interesting blog titled: “Key Networking Skills – Listening Skills” written by Opendoorz Professional Business Network the concept of “Engaged Attentional Listening” is discussed. Engaged Attentional listening is when you understand a conversation and could answer someone else’s questions about what they said, whether the person was there or not. Fully engaged listening takes this to the highest level. You not only hear and understand what has been said but you have a sense of who the person is, their passions and experiences and what really makes them tick.
One of the most profound points Carnegie made in How to Win Friends was that people love to talk about themselves. If you can get people to discuss their experiences and opinions—and listen with sincere interest and give real attention—you can have a great conversation with someone without having to say much at all.
Attentional Networking Listening Skills Tips: A good listener actively pays attention to the conversation and responds appropriately to questions.
3. Ask a question:
Asking questions that will give attention to the other person is an art. Ask the wrong questions and you can easily offend someone. But the reverse is also true; asking the right questions can build trust by opening lines of safety communications. Keep questions positive and focused. Right questions, that give attention, can build your credibility, and for the shy person, that’s a much smarter and easier way to engage.
Attentional Networking Asking questions Tip: The best question to ask when Networking is a question that shifts the focus of the conversation from you to the other person. Then you know you give full attention to the other person and his needs. For example: “If I can introduce to you a new contact, who will it be?”.
4. Mention People first name:
One of my favorite Carnegie’s basic principles that I quote many times is—that a person’s name is the sweetest sound to that person. Remember that a person’s name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
You make a lasting impression, and it really mean you gave a sincere attention when you can recall someone’s name you previously met. Stop and think how you felt the last time someone surprised you by recalling your name?
Simply put, making the efforts to learn how to remember names and recall them is an important skill and goes a long way towards making your interactions more memorable. Put some effort into this skill and improve the lasting impression that you make in the eyes of your customer.
Attentional Networking People’s name Tip: So when you meet someone, use her/his name in conversation. Doing so makes the other person feel more comfortable like you really know her/him and she/he knows you.
5. Become genuinely interested in other people:
The only connections that work will be the ones that you truly care about. If you don’t have a genuine interest in and you do not give real attention to the person with whom you’re trying to connect, then stop trying. It’s nearly impossible to genuinely offer help if you don’t pay authentic attention — I mean real attention, not just to what business they are involved in or what kind of services or products they sell! Invest genuine time in learning what really matters to them and how you can help. Learn about their backgrounds and passions.
Be genuinely helpful. You’d be surprised how the simplest things actually never get done. Being authentic and sincere in the attention you give to others isn’t as hard as some think!
Attentional Networking Become genuinely interested in other people Tip: If you want to learn how to become genuinely interested in other people, you should first stay true to yourself. Be yourself! Fake feelings never got anybody anywhere in the long run.
I make successful relationship building simply by using ATTENTIONAL NETWORKING: I help professionals and business owners to create and maintain a successful business relationship and attract new prospects by using the “Attentional Networking”.
- Are you involved in developing a new relationship with your organization/firm and want to learn how to do it right?
- Are you maintaining your relationship and network and do you want to learn how to optimize this relationship and learn practical tools to apply and use attention in maintaining this network?
- Do you want to learn new innovative and simple tools to attract new prospects and clients to your organization/firm?
Do any of these questions apply to you? Then my tools will definitely be helpful for you!
Are you interested to learn how I can help you?
Contact me to discuss tailored solutions for your specific needs!
