Do you believe, as I do, that networking should be authentic, simple and sincere? So why so many people around us are uncomfortable of networking? Did you know that if you blend the special ingredient called “ATTENTION” you will instantly be a successful networker? I have no doubt that you give a sincere and friendly attention to people you know. However, because many of us (mistakenly) see networking as a “business activity” it’s easy to think that we need to act in a different way. Unfortunately, searching in the internet or participating in networking events, give us the feeling that most networking strategies come across as pushy, needy, or self-serving — even though the people using them rarely act that way in day-to-day life. We hardly get a real attention from the people we interact with in these events. So what can we do? There are definitely genuine ways to pay with attention to others and helping everyone become a better networker. Here are some ideas that definitely work for me, to create authentic, sincere relationship by using the power of Attentional Networking:
Attentional networking – what do you want to achive?
1. Attentional Networking = the art of helping others. Do you like to help other people? Do you do it genuinely without expecting them to help you back? Focus on giving value to others, without the need of them asking for help. Surprise others, especially when they do not expect to get your help. Provide them with great value added ideas, services etc.
2. Attentional Networking = the art of servicing others’ needs. First rule of building and developing a relationship with someone, give them your complete attention by thinking about them. It is useless just adding people to your list of contacts, without understanding who they are, what are their needs, what do they want to achieve and how can you support them to achieve it faster and better? You need to give your attention to each detail, no shortcuts.
Attentional Networking – How to set your expectations?
3. Attentional Netowrking = The art of knowing the right people. In the networking world, we name the person who just goes around and hand his/her business cards to everyone – ‘the network jerk’, you should avoid be one of them! Isn’t it more fun and joyful to only include in your network people you really care about and are relevant to you. I have a surprise to you – there are enough good and nice people in every industry, cross-borders, cross-cultures and in different ways of life. Get them to be part of your network and give them and only them yours undivided and sincere attention.
4. Attentional Networking = The art of Giving with no limits. When you sincerely do somebody a favor, or help them, do you expect to get back from them? If you have ever give a positive answer to this question, there is something wrong. How can you be sincere and the same time expect to get a favor in return? Isn’t it up to the other person? Paying attention to others in your life, is learning more about them, finding up why they so interesting, be curious about them and how can you help them — and don’t expect anything in return.
5. Attentional Networking = The art of focusing your attention on specific people. In some blogs and articles you may find that networking is normal behavior with no need to plan it. Although, I may agree to some of it, I do believe that if you want to use the special and results driven networking – ‘Attentional Netowrking’- you should be strict with yourself in deciding and defining what you are looking for within your network. Please do not get me wrong, networking is also fun when you’ll once and awhile stumble across someone amazing on accident, but even then you need to use sincere attention to continue and build this relationship. Be proactive and create a list of people that you want to contact on purpose and deserve your attention.
6. Attentional Networking = The art of going out of your circle. Did you ever try to ‘scare’ yourself and participate in an event of a total different industry? It happened to me, several times…by mistake…but I enjoyed it a lot. Meeting people out of your industry seems in first place scary to a lot of people, but it is so fulfilling experience. You learn to practice your sincere attention in other people, in their stories, in their interests and needs. Since you are not from the same industry, you have no fears connecting to the leading and most senior people in the other circle (since you do not who they are also when you meet them). You only need to give them your full attention by listening to them. Isn’t it easy? You will be the person with the broad network, who can connect people across industries.
7. Attentional Networking = The Art of noticing with emphaty the existence of other people in your life. How much do you try to measure in advance if people are relevant to you and your goals before trying to approach them? Giving attention to other human being, should be random, open and supportive act. Try to avoid all kind of tools that suppose to help you find the relevant people to network with. If you trying to divide people to two groups – relevant and irrelevant people – you are not a real networker and you are blocking the basic need of networking – the ability to give attention, to other people whoever they are.
Attentional Networking – How to connect with new relations?
8. Attentional Netowrking = The Art of noticing other people needs (prior to your own needs). You are aware, I hope, that not every person know and understand how to create new relations (maybe you are one of them…). Moreover, some people always think in terms of time and money. So when you approach them they will think – how long will it take me? Can I earn anything from the contact with this person? People are busy, you need to use your attention to address those concerns from the start by asking questions about the time they have for the discussion with you etc. Asking questions like this show your sincere interest in the other person and your attention to their needs and limited resources. These sorts of questions may even shift the attention to you, as you being sincere, simple and professional person.
9. Attentional Networking = The art of offering praise, not requesting help. Needless to mention that attention is given with no need to ask for anything when you meet somebody for the first time. Attention is the ability to give a sincere compliment to another human being. This act is so powerful that it can be kept short. Do not destroy the purity of this genuine attention by asking in the same time for favor, advice, promotion etc. Give the other person time to accept your praise, in order to bring your building relationship process to the next level.
10. Attentional Networking = The art of knowing to be friendly and short. Many times I was asked, how can I start relations by email and show my sincere attention to the other person? If your first contact is via email, then my best advise is keep it short, sincere and friendly. You can dedicate this first interaction for only a simple email with compliment to the other person. Trust me, but you do not even need to explain in length why you are contacting this specific person. This is attention, undivided, focused, authentic and short. It will resonate in the other person mind for a long time, and it will definitely make you shine out of other correspondence.
And maybe just to complete this first part of ideas:
11. Attentional Networking = The Art increasing the “YES” attitude. I was recently talking to a CEO of a multinational company about offering a new training for his board of directors and senior management (for winning new clients by using a unique attentional communication strategies). I started by asking for permission to continue and he would like to know more. He was interested and we ended up having a great conversation. There are some situations where you need to ask for something, but don’t have the luxury of time to build relationship and to know the other party. This is the special magic of attention. The ability to weave in requests for permission before you make an offer, get a sincere attention of the other person. Thus, the odds of your offer being accepted by them drastically increase. This specific act (as we call it – Permission attention) can work wonders.
Attentional Networking – How to give unconditional attention?
You don’t need to be a master to start building your network. Just taking a moment to reach out, and give attention to another human being, is a big step that will help most people. Sharing useful information and connecting like-minded people are simple actions that everyone will appreciate. In fact, this approach of building mutually beneficial relationships – Attentional Networking (rather than networking for personal gain) is the very foundation of our speaking, training engagements. Attentional networking can make a huge difference if you focus on being useful, give attention to others and don’t make things harder than they have to be.
What are your best tips for using attention to others as part of your networking? Any other ideas how to use the special magical power of attention? Share your thoughts in the comments below.
