The Secret of the “Propinquity Effect”

I recently noticed a very interesting phenomenon –

In my daily life, the people I got connected were many times are people who were ‘physically’ close to me.

For example, my best friend from childhood used to live in our own building. The people I spent time with when we first moved to The Netherlands were my colleagues.

You are probably also heard before the expression “better a neighbour nearby than a relative far away.”

So I decided to check if there is a connection between the proximity between people and the ability to develop relationships.

Are you familiar with the word “Propinquity”?

In social psychology, propinquity (from Latin propinquitas, “nearness”) is one of the main factors leading to interpersonal attraction. [Source: Wikipedia ] 

It refers to the physical or psychological proximity between people. Propinquity can mean physical proximity, a kinship between people, or a similarity in nature between things (“like-attracts-like”).

The propinquity Effect

Behavioural Psychologists use it to describe what they call the ‘Propinquity Effect’.

What does this effect state?

1. First, the closer you are to someone, the more likely you are to like them.

This theory was based on a study, Stanley Schachter, and Kurt Back in the Westgate student apartments on the campus of MIT in Cambridge, MA.

The researchers discovered that the students who live on the same floor will typically have closer friendships with each other than with the students who live on a different floor.

They also discovered that the students who lived near the ground-floor staircases and mailboxes had friends on both floors due to their proximity, or propinquity to the entrance of the building.

2. Second, according to the ‘Propinquity Effect’, the more you see someone, the more likely you are to feel positive about them.

3. Third, the more similarities you share and the closer you are to someone, the faster and more you will like them.

The propinquity effect is the tendency for people to form friendships (or romantic relationships) with those whom they encounter often, forming a bond between subject and friend.

Occupational propinquity, based on a person’s career, is also commonly seen as a factor in marriage selection.

Moreover, when we deal with internal networking, it was interesting to find out that workplace interactions are frequent and this frequent interaction is often a key indicator as to why close relationships can readily form in this type of environment.

In other words, relationships tend to form between those who have a high propinquity.

You can easily find examples of the power of propinquity also in your own life while building relationships with other people.

The propinquity effect plays a role in everybody daily life.

The opposite is also true.

Are you familiar with the expression: ‘far from the eye far from the heart’ ?  This is also a negative version of the ‘Propinquity Effect’.

When you don’t come into close physical contact with someone, you tend to loose contact with them.

I am sure this is true for many people so while the propinquity effect may explain making friends, and keeping them to some extent, it doesn’t explain the full story.

This is where other factors come in such as similarities of opinion, personality, interpersonal style, interests, and experiences.

My friends from home and school have many of these qualities in common which is heartening to see because  know this is what makes friendships last a long time.

Propinquity is a quality that’s often forgotten or misunderstood in the contemporary business environment but it is one you ignore at your peril as a business owner or a manager.

Propinquity Effect In Action

A first obvious assumption that you probably conclude is that it’s in your best interest to find a way to be in close physical contact, in order to build relationships with the other person.

Let me give you two main options that will help you use propinquity effect to build relationships for your business and to be more likeable:

OPTION #1: Physical Propinquity

You need to do your own research and to find out where the people with whom you want to develop a relationship hang out, where they spend their time and what they spend their time doing.

Once you find the places, try to hang out at the same places they frequent. 

If the Propinquity is right, we can rightly assume that the more they see you and communicate with you, the more likely they are to like you and build relationships with you.

Here is an interesting point, or maybe even a golden nugget in developing relationships with your existing clients: If you’re trying to win over a customer, your success is going to be in direct proportion to how frequently they communicate with you in person.

The more time you spend together, the greater the chance they’re going to like you and want to work with you.

It’s also important to remember that the Propinquity Effect is not just about being in close physical contact.

It’s also effective when the propinquity has to do with affinity and similarity. The more similar your opinions, interests and attitudes, the more likely you will like, and be liked by others.

The more similar your opinions, interests and attitudes, the more likely you will like, and be liked by others.

When it comes to likeability, nothing could be easier than taking advantage of the Propinquity Effect. All you have to do is be in the same vicinity of the individual you want to build a relationship with and let the communication happen naturally.

Nothing could be easier.

OPTION #2: Psychological Propinquity

Very interesting to find out that the Propinquity effect also works with regards to building online connections and sharing great knowledge and content online.

You want to get close to your followers as possible. This extends to all ways and channels of communications with your tribe, not only via social media.

For example, by sending your audience emails on a regular basis will allow you to be in their lives on a regular basis.

The more often people get exposed and see your content, the better they get to know you and get to interact with your believes and thoughts.

This repeated exposure to your content will activate the Propinquity effect and it moves them from simply knowing you to actually liking you.

Exactly, as the effect works in the offline world.

By doing so, you will create multiple propinquity touches against your prospects. You’ll be the person “they see everywhere” and come to associate with specific expertise or knowledge.

But remember your content should be relevant to your audience.

For the propinquity effect to be as effective as possible, those emails or posts on social media also need to be about something that you have in common with your audience.

In other words, as long as you are talking frequent enough about content, events, or products in your niche that your audience likes, you immediately have that required level of relevance and getting connected to them.

Tom Martin, author of The Invisible Sale, advocates a policy of mapping out places online and offline where prospective customers are likely to “interact with” your brand, and then creating helpful content to meet their needs.

This could include both online groups or forums or offline during networking events, trade shows, and other physical locations.

An important note: I hear some of you asking what if you do not like the other person who interacts with you?

It was proven in many studies that being a jerk invalidates the propinquity effect.

In other words, If you do not like a person, subsequent interactions will not lead you to change your mind and begin liking the other person! So pay attention!

Last Word

In Building strong business relationships we need to emphasize the importance of social similarity and propinquity in producing strong interpersonal connections. The positive effect each factor can have on tie strength has been documented across a number of studies.

Proximity in time or space provides two people with an opportunity to develop a more meaningful relationship, but the two individuals must be interested in developing a relationship.

Propinquity provides two individuals with an opportunity to develop a more meaningful relationship, but remember: they must have some interest in developing a strong tie.

If they are not interested in interacting, being in close proximity will not have a positive effect on subsequent interactions.

One thing for sure: Because of the power of propinquity to create connections and influence, it’s not something you want to leave to chance!

So how will you use the power of the ‘Propinquity effect’ in building relationships to grow your business?

You need to think on the combination of both the Physical Propinquity & the Psychological Propinquity. Share with us your ideas and how did you implement them.